On the latest episode of On the Contrary, Kash the Sexologist, Luis, Rico and Taz tackle a question that hits differently as you get older: Are you too old for the club? More importantly, how do you define fun when the nights out start costing more than they used to?
Getting older doesn’t mean you suddenly stop having fun. But the things you enjoy can change. The places you once loved, the people you spent every weekend with, and the lifestyle that once felt exciting may not feel the same anymore.
As Kash puts it: “At some point, the club stops feeling like a release and starts feeling like a chore. Especially when you need acid reflux medication just to get through the night.”
Is There an Age Limit for the Club?
The conversation starts with a direct question from Rico: Is there a real age where being in the club every weekend stops being fun and starts being a red flag? Luis doesn’t believe there’s one universal number. “I honestly don’t think there’s a number to it for every individual. I believe it’s how they feel… If that’s what they with, that’s what they with.”
For him, the real issue is less about age and more about what you’re looking for when you go out. Rico, however, comes in with clearer numbers: “If the club has a majority of people that are younger than 25, you can’t be more than 28… And then after that, the next part I’m going to say is around 32 to 34, depending on if you were a late bloomer or not.” He now prefers lounges and more intimate settings. The high-energy club scene has started to feel like too much.
Is Clubbing Funding Your Growth or Your Regression?
Kash takes the conversation in a different direction with one of the episode’s strongest points. She argues that instead of asking whether you’re too old for the club, you should ask yourself what those nights are actually doing for you. Are they adding something to your life, or are you going out simply because you’re used to it?
Her test is simple: If you come home relieved that the night is finally over, that may be worth paying attention to. You might not be enjoying those nights as much as you once did. And that can happen with more than just clubbing. As your priorities change, you may start looking for different ways to spend your free time. Something that once felt exciting can eventually feel exhausting, and there’s nothing strange about realizing you’d rather be somewhere else.
When You’re Torn Between Party Friends and Lounge Friends
A caller brings a situation the panel couldn’t stop talking about. She has two friend groups: one that still goes out hard and another that has fully settled into lounge mode. She doesn’t know which version of herself feels more authentic anymore.
The conversation gets into what happens when your friendships and your lifestyle start changing at different speeds. One group may still want to go out every weekend, while another would rather grab dinner, have drinks somewhere quieter, or stay home. What once felt like freedom can start to feel like obligation.
Outgrowing a lifestyle can sometimes mean outgrowing the friendships built around it. As we discussed in a previous episode of On the Contrary, “Women Don’t Lose Friends, They Outgrow Them,” not every friendship is meant to follow you into every stage of your life.
What Does Fun Look Like in Your 30s and 40s?
By the end of the episode, the panel gets into what having fun can look like as you get older.
It doesn’t have to mean late nights, bottle service, or proving that you can still keep up. For some people, a good time now might mean a lounge, a great conversation, a good meal, or simply being somewhere they can actually hear themselves think.
As your priorities change, so can the way you choose to spend your time and money. For some people, that means putting more value on memorable experiences than material things. A night out doesn’t always have to be about partying until morning. It can be about where you go, who you’re with, and whether you’ll actually enjoy the experience.
There’s also something to be said for not forcing yourself to enjoy things just because you used to. Your idea of a good night can change as your schedule, energy, priorities, and friendships change. So, is there actually an age when you should stop clubbing? The panel doesn’t seem to think there’s a universal answer. If you’re still having a good time, go enjoy yourself. But if you’re spending the night waiting to go home, maybe it’s time to find something else that feels better.
Growing older doesn’t mean you have to become boring. It just gives you more freedom to decide what you actually enjoy.
The closing message is simple: Stop living to work. Start working to live. And make sure you’re actually enjoying the life you’re working so hard to build.
